Dear Friends;

I hope that you’ll enjoy the following parsha summary followed by a dvar torah;

” Parsha in a Nutshell “

G-d creates the world in six days. On the first day He makes darkness and light. On the 2nd day He forms the heavens, dividing the “upper waters” from the “lower waters.” On the 3rd day He sets the boundaries of land and sea and calls forth trees and greenery from the earth. On the 4th day He fixes the position of the sun, moon and stars as timekeepers and illuminators of the earth. Fish, birds and reptiles are created on the fifth day; land-animals, and then the human being, on the sixth. G-d ceases work on the seventh day, and sanctifies it as a day of rest.

G-d forms the human body from the dust of the earth and blows into his nostrils a “living soul.” Originally Man is a single person, but deciding that “it is not good that man be alone,” G-d takes a “side” from the man, forms it into a woman, and marries them to each other.

Adam and Eve are placed in the Garden of Eden and commanded not to eat from the “Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.” The serpent persuades Eve to violate the command, and she shares the forbidden fruit with her husband. Because of their sin, it is decreed that man will experience death, returning to the soil from which he was formed, and that all his livelihood will come only through struggle and hardship. Man is banished from the Garden.

Eve gives birth to two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain quarrels with Abel and murders him, and becomes a rootless wanderer. A third son is born to Adam, Seth, whose tenth-generation descendant, Noah, is the only righteous man in a corrupt world!

” Dvar Torah “

When I was a teenager, I attended a Yeshiva middle/high school in London called “Hasmonean”. It was the second or the third year since we had moved to London, and every friday we had a class on the weekly parsha with a great teacher called Mr. Bedil. Although he wasn’t a Rabbi, but his Torah knowledge and his speech power was better than any Rabbis that I’ve ever known. His classes were always interesting since he used to interact with the students and get everyone involved by asking them questions. And his loud voice confirmed his position of authority that everyone kept quiet and listened.

One week, it happened to be Parashat Bereshit and he started his class as follows: ” In this week’s parsha after G-d created “Adam”, He realized that the man is alone and he needs a partner. So, He decided to create a partner for him. But the exact wording that Hashem uses for a partner is a little strange. Hashem said: ” It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him “Ezer Kenegdo”, which means “a helper, against or opposite him”. And a few pasuks later the Torah says: ” And every man should leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” From this pasuk, clearly, the Torah is commanding us that every man should get married. It’s not an optional mitzvah — it’s an obligation for every man! But now, let me ask you a question. Why does Hashem want us to get married? What if we are just happy to be left alone? For sure, there will be much more peace and quiet and much less responsibilities! So why does Hashem want us to go through the burden of marriage?! “

Well, since I was new in the field of Torah studies, I usually didn’t know the answers to Mr. Bedil’s questions, but this time I finally thought that I had the perfect answer. So, immediately I raised my hand and with Mr. Bedil’s permission, I began to talk: ” To do the mitzvah of “Pru Ve Orvu”, to increase and multiply – to have children!!” I felt the satisfaction already, since I was almost sure that I had the right answer. But to my surprise, Mr. Bedil wasn’t so excited about my answer. So he said: ” Well, that is one of the mitzvahs you can perform only if you get married, but that’s not the reason that G-d wants you to get married!” So, immediately, the next person raised his hand and said: ” to become complete, since only when you are married you’ll become complete and you can fulfill all the mitzvot of the Torah!” Although he liked the answer, but again, he wasn’t thrilled by it. A few more hands went up, each one giving a valid answer, but none of them were the answer Mr. Bedil was looking for. So, finally he said: “let me tell you the answer! The answer is given in the Parsha itself. When G-d wanted to create the woman, He didn’t say “let me make him a partner LIKE him?!” He said “let me make him a partner/helper against or opposite him”, which means that men and women are created differently. The woman is created in a way that might have opposing or different views than the man! The whole point of marriage is to see if you can live and get along with someone who might have different opinions than yours. G-d wants to see if you are willing to compromise and work out your differences with your spouse. And this is what marriage is all about: to respect each others opinion even if they are different! Why do you think that Hashem demands from every man to leave his parents and cling to his wife? Because it’s very easy to get along with someone like your parents, who have loved you and taken care of you since the day you were born. The whole challenge of marriage is to see if you are willing to get along with someone new in your life, who hasn’t done anything for you in the past and who may have different views than yours! If you are able to get along with your new wife and are willing to spend the rest of your life with her, only then, you have truly fulfilled the mitzvah of marriage. So when you grow up and finally find someone who you think is the right person to marry, the question that you should ask yourself should not be, “Do I love her?”, but rather, it should be, “Am I willing to get along with this woman for the rest of my life?” And if the answer is yes, then you’ve found your partner in life!

Yes my friends, marriage is all about getting along with your spouse. It’s all about loving, respecting and understanding your spouse. It’s all about compromising and forgiving. In Judaism, marriage is the union of two people from the opposite sex, with opposing ideas, who are willing to live together and work out their differences. Why do you think that Judaism is so much against same sex marriage? Not only because the sexual act is forbidden and so repulsive, but also, two people from the same gender with same ideas living together haven’t achieved anything. For example, two men living together, drinking beer and watching a football game is not what marriage about. The whole point of marriage is when you only own one set of television, and you want to watch a football game and your wife wants to watch a soap opera! Are you willing to compromise?!

In every marriage there is always arguments and disagreements, but if you can worked them out and stay united, then you’ll become “one flesh”, which is what the Torah is talking about! Remember that G-d created for a man “Ezer Kenegdo”, a helper against him. But you may ask yourself, how can a helper be against you?! They contradict each other?! What it means is, only when you can respect and get along with someone who has different opinions than yours, only then, she will become a helper to you and the best partner in life!

Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the United States is around 50%, which means one out of two marriages fail. And the main reason is, they disagree with each other’s opinions. But I’m afraid that they’ve got it all wrong. Marriage is not about finding common ground, but rather, it’s about accepting and respecting different opinions than yours!!

Shabbat Shalom & Regards;

Martin