Dear Friends;

 

I hope that you’ll enjoy the following Parsha summary followed by a Dvar Torah;

 

” The Parsha in a Nutshell “

 



 

Sarah dies at age 127 and is buried in the Machpeilah Cave in Hebron, which Avraham purchases from Ephron the Hittite for 400 shekels of silver.

 

Avraham’s servant, Eliezer, is sent with gifts to Charan, Avraham’s hometown, to find a wife for Isaac. At the village well, Eliezer asks G-d for a sign: when the maidens come to the well, he will ask for some water to drink; the woman who will offer to give his camels to drink as well, shall be the one destined for his master’s son.

 

Rebecca, the daughter of Avraham’s nephew, appears at the well and passes the “test”. Rebecca returns with Eliezer to the land of Canaan, where they encounter Isaac. Isaac marries Rebecca, loves her, and is comforted over the loss of his mother.

 

Avraham takes a new wife, Keturah (Hagar) and fathers six additional sons, but Isaac is designated as his only heir. Avraham dies at age 175 and is buried beside Sarah by his two eldest sons, Isaac and Ishmael.

 

” Dvar Torah “

 

One of the most difficult tasks in every man’s life is by no doubts, to find his soul-mate. The task seems to be so difficult that many people can not do it on their own. Some seek professional counseling, some go to seminars, some use a matchmaker and some use the modern technology by using websites and internet. Some people find their soul-mate in their own neighborhood, some move from one town to another, while some others travel across the world in search of a soul-mate. Yet, with all the help and the effort that the people put into this task, it seems that they pick the wrong choice since the divorce rate in the U.S. among the gentiles is close to 50%!

 

Well, being faced with such a difficult task, some people even give up. They decide to stay single! But this is not an option for a Jewish man, since it’s a direct commandment from the Torah that “every man should leave his father and his mother’s house and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh”, which means that every Jewish man has to get married!

 

So, for us Jews, the question is not IF we can find the love of our life, but rather, HOW can we find the love of our life? But with such a difficult task that Hashem has put on our shoulders, don’t think that He is not going to help us. He also guides us how to find a “shiduch” (destined-match) in his holy book!

 

In this week’s parsha the Torah talks about how Avraham finds a “shiduch” for his son, Isaac. It discusses, in great detail, page after page after page, how he sends his servant Eliezer on a mission to find a wife for his son. The Torah doesn’t waste so much space for no reason. When it writes about something in detail, it wants us to learn from it. So let us see what we can learn from Eliezer’s mission.

 

The story begins with Avraham deciding to find a wife for his son Isaac. Isaac was over 37 years old at that time. He wasn’t a kid anymore! So, why couldn’t Isaac find a wife for himself?? Well, the Chachamim say that since the episode of  “Akedat Yitzchak”, Isaac entered a new spiritual level and he wasn’t allowed to leave the land of Israel for any reason, even to look for a wife. But the lesson that we can learn from here is that it’s every parent’s duty to help their children in finding a “match”, if they are unable to do so, themselves!

 

Then Avraham asks Eliezer to swear not to take a wife for his son from the Canaanites, among whom he dwells. Rather, to go to his birthplace and take a wife from his own people for his son Isaac. Accordingly, the Chachamim derive that every Jew should marry within his own people, which is another Jew. Some Chachamim even go as far as to say that it’s better to marry within your own community!

 

Then, Eliezer was left alone to make his own judgment in choosing a match for Isaac. What did he do first? He Prayed! He prayed to Hashem that He grants him success in his mission. To find your soul mate, you need the help of the Almighty, since He is the one who has designated a person to be your other half. So, praying is essential in finding a spouse, whether for yourself or for your children.

 

And guess what kind of characteristics was Eliezer looking in the girl for Isaac? He didn’t look for wealth nor beauty, but rather, he looked for the personal qualities of generosity and kindness. The girl who would spontaneously offer to give him water and to his ten thirsty camels, would be the one. Marriage is all about giving and forgiving, so generosity and kindness plays an important part in the union of husband and wife!

 

After finding Rebecca to be the suitable wife for Isaac, Eliezer seeks the approval of her father and brother, to take her back to Isaac. Once they agreed, they called Rebecca and asked her if she will go with this man? And she said: ” I will go”. From here we learn that you can never force someone to marry a person. At the end, it’s the man and the woman’s decision to marry each other.

 

And finally, after bringing back Rebecca to Isaac, the Torah says:” Isaac married Rebecca, she became his wife, and he loved her…” Wow, how strange is this?! Usually in any other culture, the man and the woman fall desperately in love with each other and then get married. But Isaac and Rebecca experienced the opposite; first there was marriage and then there was love! From here, our sages derive that the true love can only be achieved after you marry someone. And the love that the Torah talks about is one that lasts forever, since Isaac and Rebecca lived happily ever after!

 

Yes my friends, true love can only be experienced after marriage. True love is all about dedication; when you dedicate your life to someone else; when your concerns are secondary while theirs are first; and when you let go of what you want and try to meet with what she wants. You can only experience true love after you live with your spouse, when you take care of each other’s needs, when you take care of each other in sickness, when you stand by each other’s side through difficult times, when you help each other in raising the children and above all, when you still care for each other after many years of marriage. Only then you can claim that you truly love someone!

 

It’s very easy to say “I love you”, but you should be able to back it up with years of dedication and sacrifice. Only then, you really mean what you say.

 

Shabbat Shalom & Regards;

 

Martin