Lecture 1 – “Not my Child” – Drugs & Alcohol

• Drugs & alcohol no longer discriminate between good students or bad.
• The first step in prevention is education (odorless E-cigs, etc).
• Parents must band together and work as a team to fully solve the problem.
• Structure helps kids make positive decisions (bring back boundaries).
• Our actions determine our children’s actions (drinking, losing temper, etc)
• The ‘best kid’ will eventually succumb to peer pressure at parties.
• Parents must be clear: kids must hear ‘they will never be alone’
• Parents are legally liable if a kid overdoses at a party in their house.
• The parent of 2018 must not expect kids to raise themselves – be present!

Lecture 2 – Communicating with the 2018 teen (part 1)

• The 2018 teen is extremely confused: need boundaries and consistency.
• Male & Female brains are different, but society says they are the same.
• Boys & girls are using each others language & act similarly – creates confusion.
• Girls now pressure, bully, & name call other girls to be physically intimate
• When parents aren’t available, kids turn to their peers (“blind leading the blind”)
• Shiddukh crisis because teens act, dress, and are physically intimate like adults (no rush)
• Kids are angry today, and answer their parents back because they have no boundaries.
• No shame in getting phones taken away – have other means (Whatsapp web, old phone)

Lecture 3 – Communicating with the 2018 teen (part 2)

• There is no textbook teen, no textbook conversation, no ‘1 size fits all’ kid.
• Encourage children to be who is right for them, not right for parents or society.
• Transition from child’s “Manager” to teen’s “consultant” for advice & direction
• The most important thing is patience, patience, & more patience
• Learn & know (don’t assume). Find out why kids act up in certain situations.
• To get our kids to keep their word, we must lead by example (no empty threats)
• Try deferred punishment.  Wait 24 hours to see the child deliberate the mistake
• Make them bigger.  Say “I know why you did this, but I wouldn’t expect this from you.”
• “Walk the walk”: Use kids vernacular to get them to open up
• Own up to mistakes – apologize for losing temper or a false accusation
• Best way to get kids to talk: ask them to teach you something (e.g. phones)
• Find the right time to talk: driving (no focus), late at night (after distractions)
• No double standards at home (phone at dinner, binge drinking, etc)